Confidence

Apr 24 2017

Stop Causing Your Clients Confusion

I wrote a post previously sharing tips for photographers on how to let your clients know that you don’t Photoshop their images extensively.

Wait, I mean edit their images extensively; “Photoshop” isn’t a verb.

It also isn’t a term every client out there knows what it means.

That’s the problem though, right? Because it is a term you use all the time, common language in the photographer industry, it bleeds over in to marketing materials, in to conversations, and in to client meetings.

This leaves clients feeling like they should know what it means, so they nod their head and go along with it. Or, possibly even worse, they think it means one thing when you mean something completely different.

I received a comment today on that blog post from a client of another photographer, stating that, “Unfortunately it now seems the work on her website is not reflective of the level of editing she gives to her clients. Her words were “the images i sent you are edited, i have tweeked (sic) the one I uploaded”… In reality the ones she wants me to accept are a completely different colour, and my daughter has blotches all over her face in some of them. In another shoot my daughter’s white cardigan is slightly overexposed, but the edited one on her website has perfect colour and contrast. Is this normal and acceptable? To advertise images edited differently to what you then sell to clients?”

I responded that there is no industry standard. What is normal editing for one person isn’t for another.

The REAL PROBLEM though is the fact that the photographer didn’t explain this to her client!

If you look through your marketing terms on all of your materials, your pricelist, anything that you put out there, do you have words like this in it? Are you explaining what you offer, what you include, how the process works, in a clear manner that someone not in the industry will understand?

You need to explain your process.

Stop assuming your clients know what you think they know!

Are you leaving things open for interpretation?

If you’re a photographer, stop expecting people to know anything about retouching terms – Photoshop, how you do a “light edit”, how you color correct, cull, or any of it. Take it off your pricelist, and if you have to talk about it in your marketing materials? Make it easy to understand by non-photographers!

When you pristinely retouch every photograph that you show on your website, but then turn around and hand your clients digital files that look like they came straight out of the camera?

You’re confusing the hell out of your clients.

When you brush them off afterwards and just point them back to your promo that they purchased with the confusing language on it? You’re guaranteeing that not only will they not return to you, they will also tell all of their friends to avoid you too.

Speaking of what you deliver, photographers? “High-Res Digital Files” – your clients have NO IDEA what this means. Hell, half the time I don’t even know what you mean by this. Your High-Res Digital File and mine might be two different things. You’re causing yourself more headaches than it is worth with this one. You need to clarify!

Find where you’re causing your clients confusion!

This is important, no matter what industry you’re in! Have friends that aren’t “in the know” read what you are putting out there and tell you what they think it means.

You might be surprised about the confusion you’ve been causing people.

What terms do you see people using often that leave you feeling confused about what they are including? Have you ended up disappointed after you made a purchase when you found out what it really included?

Apr 02 2015

To the Thin Women of the World – I’m Sorry

I am just going to get this out of the way – I am not at my ideal BMI. I have to shop in the Plus section of the stores most of the time. Ok, I’ll just go ahead and say it. I am … Fat. (Ouch, that was hard.)

But that is no excuse for how I have treated you, thin women.

Weight is not a competition. There is no “WIN” in comparing myself to you.

More importantly, it is not your fault that I am fat. I apologize for all the times that I have said horrible things to you because you are thin.

I never noticed this phenomenon until I caught myself saying it to a woman I had only met an hour or so earlier. There she was at the photo shoot, slender and with the most perfect abs I have ever seen, telling me how she had a 14 month old baby. I simply had to ask, “Oh, please tell me that you work out all the time!?”

I saw her cringe a little. She was almost apologetic as she told me no, she was just built that way. She had not worked out after the baby.

That was the moment that it happened. I felt the thickness of the words about to tumble out of my mouth. I managed to catch them in time, but the silence was awkward. It was obvious that I was about to say something. She looked puzzled.

I looked at the ground for a moment, and then I looked her in the eye.

“I just have to apologize, because what I almost said? It was that I hate you. That is not right. You don’t deserve that.”

She looked back at me, “It is ok. Thank you. You would be shocked at some of the things people say to me.”

As she told me some of those things, we both stood there and cried together.

I should have been shocked, but I wasn’t because I’m sure I have said them at some point as well to a thin woman. Completely oblivious to the pain I was causing her in hearing them. It was all about my pain, my shame of hating myself and my own body.

“Oh, you’re cold? Well … maybe you should eat a cheeseburger. Or a cookie. Put on some weight.”

“You have 5 pounds to lose? Hah! That is NOTHING! Be glad you’re so thin.”

“You’re so thin, I could snap you like a twig!”

And the worst one of all, “You’re so thin … I hate you.”

When did this become OK?!? At what point did we decide that we are allowed to look another woman in the eye and tell her that we hated her? Or that she should gain weight and doesn’t have a right to have body-image issues because she is thin?

Thin shaming is just as bad for women’s body image as fat shaming. Both are wrong.

Over the past few years, I’ve talked to a number of other thin women about this topic. It is something that they are experiencing on a regular basis. Some have told me their stories about how they thought it would change when they grew up, how they never expected that it would continue in to adulthood. How in ways, it is worse now because they can no longer excuse it is a playground taunt.

Everyone wants to be thin, but we vilify the women that actually ARE.

We make them outcasts. Women bond over how much we hate our bodies, the latest diet that we are on, how we will simply never have thigh gap. If you’re thin? We act as if you have no right to be a part of the tribe. You have hit it. You reached the goal we all desperately long to attain, if only we would make the life changes to get there.

So many of the messages today about being body positive are actually talking about accepting your PLUS size body. Embrace the Curves. Eff your beauty standards. Love me as I am!!! No one should say that they are fat. Love yourself no matter what your size. Stop hating your body.

But here is the reality: if we are talking about being body positive, thin women are a part of this conversation as well. Love yourself at any size? At any size means at a size 00 or a size 30.

We do not get to exclude them in this conversation. Thin women have every right to struggle with the same issues. Being Body Positive can not have a size tag attached to it.

It is time that we stop attacking the thin women of the world. Tearing another woman down is fighting the wrong battle.

I will never again tell another woman that I hate her because of how thin she is, how fabulous her hair is, how wonderful her life may be compared to mine. It is time we pull this hateful language from our vocabulary.

I would like to be the first in line to say it:

To the thin women, I AM SORRY. I see you, and I hear you, and I embrace you – exactly as you are. Come, join the conversation. Be a part of the circle. You have every right to be here.

Feb 10 2015

Your Body Language Control Over Your Mind

I am so absolutely intrigued by this TED talk from Amy Cuddy about your body language control over your mind. After extensive research, they discovered the simplest changes in your body language that you can make that can physically change your body’s chemistry and how others perceive you.

A simple thing that can improve your confidence in ways that science can measure.

I had to share it to help you out, and as a reminder for myself. Next time you see me walking around for 2 minutes with my hands in the air, or posed like Wonder Woman (I mean, I am an Avenger after all…) you will know why. Pay no attention to me, I’ll just be shifting my body chemistry!

I enjoyed the entire video, but if you want to dive right in to the good stuff, it is about 11 minutes in!

Feb 09 2015

Join the Love Yourself Challenge!

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, this is the time of year when it feels like all the focus is on giving a gift to the someone special in your life.

This year, it is time to add someone else to that gift list.

It is time to give yourself something special – it is time to Love Yourself!

I wanted to give you something to get you started, so I created this FREE mini-course, a little challenge of sorts, to get you thinking about all of the ways that you are special, all of the reasons that you should love yourself. I know it isn’t always easy. I get that. But it is time.

You Are Enough.

I believe that about you, and I want you to see it for yourself. So if you haven’t already, get on the list using the link below, and as soon as you confirm that you want to join it you will receive the first email, right in your inbox.

My gift to you. Because you are worth it, and the world needs more Avengers of Sexiness.

Jan 20 2015

The Confidence to Become Who I Need to Be…

It has been awhile since we talked! So much has been happening around here. BIG BIG THINGS!!! 

My word of the year for 2014 was Intention. I thought it was going to mean one thing to me when I selected that word, and it turned out that the Universe? Well, the Universe had completely different plans. Funny how that works out sometimes, isn’t it?  

I spent the last quarter of the year thinking a lot about what my Intentions truly were. What did I want my life to look like? Where did I want it to go? It was like being in a giant department store, full of choices. I could do this … or I could do that … so many options. I tried on a few things, but nothing seemed to fit just right. 

Right when I thought I had a plan, and I was ready to dive in, I came down with both the Flu AND Pneumonia on December 27th. Seriously? I mean… I finally have a plan!  I had hit my Upper Limit though, and I was stopped in my tracks by my body.

Soar – My Word for 2015

I chose SOAR for my word of the year for 2015. I believe that the Universe decided to stop me so I could look around one last time. Really think about it. As the result of having a 102-degree fever, I found some clarity – at least enough to get me on the right path. The confidence to lead me to SOAR. 

Over the past two weeks, I’ve worked a lot with Stephanie, who founded Vivid & Brave with me. She is also a coach for Universe Denters. She helps people who want to change the world, and I’ve known for years now that that is what I want to do that as an Avenger of Sexiness. Perfect match! 

Confidence is at the Core

As we worked through the Avenger of Sexiness manifesto (which I’ll be sharing publicly soon!) I noticed one thing. All of it was about confidence and things that tie in to making us feel confident. Finding your sanctuary, loving your body, self-care. None of it was directly about business, which is what I’ve spent the last quarter of 2014 writing about here. Everything on the manifesto is things that I truly believe in, and topics that light me up the most when I talk about them. 

It was only then that I realized it was time, at last, to do what I first started talking about last year. It is time to set down my camera as a professional photographer. (Yes, I will still be taking photos. I don’t know that I could EVER stop doing that. But it is time to take it back for myself.)  It is time to leave the “safe” zone of talking about running a business. I have bigger things I need to go and do.

My camera and the hundreds of women I have photographed over the past 7 years have taught me SO MUCH about how women think. They have given me an insight that I might not have otherwise, and they helped me heal myself in the process. I’ve wanted, desperately, to share this with the world. To help women know all the things that I know. As a photographer, I was limited — I could only reach 80-100 women a year. 

The camera which had brought me so much, had become my barrier that was keeping me from reaching so many more women. 

My Ambitious Goal as an Avenger of Sexiness

And now we reach where we are today. I’m focusing all of my energy on writing, speaking, sharing my Avenger of Sexiness mission in ANY way possible. I’m going to be launching my first class in the next few days. I’m starting my outline to write my a book. I’ve launched the Avengers of Sexiness Facebook Community which I would love to have you join. 

My ambitious goal for this year is to reach 10,000 women, to help them grow their confidence and rediscover their beauty. My mission that I set out on in 2010 has not changed at all; my plans for how to accomplish have completely shifted. 

The Trust Promise

There is just one bit of unfinished business. I’ve been worried for the past week about all of you. I’ve worried about how you will receive this change. I feel as though when you come to my blog or when you sign up for my email list, we have a sort of trust promise between the two of us. You likely have signed up for lots of business information. Many of you have sent me emails answering my first question to you when you join my list, “What is the biggest problem you have in your business right now?” While some of you were not so direct about it, at the root of it for most of you? Your answers were a matter of CONFIDENCE.

It was reinforced last week on Facebook. I shared that I was talking about blogging and wanted to know what questions you had about it. An overwhelming 75% or so of you said you wanted to know how to open up on your blog without feeling like a fraud, a poser, an imposter, or worrying that no one would read it. Again, all of that comes down to CONFIDENCE.

Moving Forward – All About You

My main focus on the blog from here on out? Exactly that. Helping you have more confidence in yourself. If there is one thing I’ve learned in the past 7 years, it is that confidence is at the CORE of everything. How you feel about yourself, how you show up in your relationships, how you show up at work, how you take care of yourself, and really – how you feel at the end of the day about it all.

If you signed up for my previous email offer, don’t worry. You’ll still be receiving it. It is no longer available other than on my blog archives; I’ll be putting together an easy to read ebook as well so you don’t have to click through posts or emails. I truly hope you will stay on my email list, but that said? I understand if you want to unsubscribe. I get it if you don’t stay.

My future posts won’t be all about business. They will be all about YOU.

No matter what, 2015 is going to be our year to Soar. 

I truly hope you will stay with me for the adventure that lies ahead.